Creating a gentle phoenix and the issue of sex 

A Releasing Your Unlimited Creativity discussion topic

Copyright 2009 by K. Ferlic,   All Rights Reserved

Creating a gentle phoenix is about creating a faster, easier, gentler and more playful way to transform ourselves and recreate ourselves for any creative endeavor we may face. To do so, there are a variety of facets which can be addressed which gives the appearance there are layers to the gentle phoenix and that there is an optimum gentle phoenix where all the possible things which can be done are done.

Key to the gentle phoenix is discerning and aligning with the flow of energy giving rise to the creation we desire to experience and learning to surrender and flow with that energy. It is the flow of energy which allows for the faster and easier transformation since energy travels the path of least resistance. Aligning with the energy also allow us to align with the feminine aspect of creation/Creation for it is the feminine which nurtures the creation. However, alignment with the feminine only supplies the initial and overall level of gentleness. Without the feminine, we cannot create the gentleness. But with the feminine, there is need for wisdom, awareness and learning how to use the feminine to see into the future.

The reason for this is best described by an example. The fastest way for water to flow down a mountain is sometimes over a water fall. Going over a waterfall is not necessarily the most gentlest way to flow to the sea. There is the need to look at the terrain in which we are passing through and to look ahead to see what may just lie beyond the horizon. This is again achieved through the feminine but is overlaid with a wisdom. It is achieved by learning how to use our intuitive guidance and body wisdom both of which arises from being able to discern the flows of energy giving rise to creation/Creation. These additional layers of gentleness are found in understanding the creative process and returning to a state of childlike play where there is freedom of movement to move around both obstacles and "going over the waterfall" through the use of our body wisdom and intuitive guidance. But to use either our intuitive guidance or body wisdom, we must be able to discern what we feel and sense within our body and our being.

We cannot discern what we feel to be able to discern and align with any flow of energy unless we are intimate with our body and our being, have opened ourselves to what we feel and lowered the threshold to what we feel as low as possible at each and every level of our being. It is about learning to become be mindful and aware to discern the subtle energies before they arise to become discomforting if not painful and understand how our mind interprets and characterizes what we feel based on our past experiences and how and what we think and believe. Alternatively said, to be able to discern and align with the flow of energy we need to bring life to the dormant aspects of our being which had been shut down as a result of the experiences we have had in our life which caused us to put our creative spirit in a cage of our own making. It is about calling back our creative power where we have given it away and given our creative spirit the freedom to unfold true to itself.

To awaken the inactive aspects of our being reflected in the dormant aspects of our body and our being and to release our creative spirit from the cage we created we need to bring life into those aspects of our being. We need to have the life giving waters of life flow through our being to wash ourselves clean and flush out all which no longer serves us, blocks and/or binds the flow of our creative life energy, and/or otherwise does not does not allows us to access the depth and breadth of the creative power we need to create what we desire.

To bring life to these inactive aspects of our being the flow of energy which we create to do so is going to cause us to feel sexual or to have sexual feelings. We will have sexual feelings because Sex is about creating life and any creative endeavor as a result of the creative process can be experienced as a creative tension, if not a sexual tension, between the masculine and feminine aspects of creation/Creation. As such, sex and our sexuality becomes the beast at the gate which stands in the way of creating that optimum gentle phoenix. Here we need to realizes we have a choice. We can either be free to engage the sex and move past the sex or avoid it and try and go around it.

If we have the courage, strength of will and understanding to engage the sex and move it, we will create the optimum gentle phoenix to transform and recreate our life for whatever the need may be. However, if we are unwilling to engage the sex but seek to move around it or avoid it, we can create aspects of a more faster, easier, gentler and playful way of transforming and recreating ourselves but only to the degree we are welling to face what rises before us.

Here it needs to be clearly understood. The issue is not about having sex although it may be for some creative endeavors may require it to get the proper mixture of energy and/or awakening of our being. It is about facing what stands before us and realizing that any creative endeavor can give rise to sexual feelings. If the creative endeavor requires acting on the sexual feelings, we will thwart our creative endeavor if we do not act on those feelings. If the creative endeavor does not require us acting on the sexual feelings we are free to act or not act on what we feel. The sex will not divert us if we remained focused on the feelings. If however we focus on the sex and what it is offering, we will become diverted and again thwart our creative endeavor. But, in any case, we must face what we feeling and become very discerning.

The key is discernment and coming to know and understand the sexual feeling we have and how and what our body feels within our whole body and being when we have sexual feelings. Experience has shown the sexual feeling which arise when sex is required for a creative endeavor is different from the sexual feelings which arise from a creative endeavor not requiring a sexual interaction. Both of these feelings are quite different than the feeling which arise from either a biological urge or and urge created by our mind to have sex. It also needs to be noted the feeling which arise from a biological urge are different than those created by our mind.

But, in any case, to distinguish between these feelings, we need to become very discerning about what we feel. This cannot be learned by avoiding or denying we have such feelings nor can it be learned without being intimate with the body and what it feels. How we choose to act on the feeling we have and learn how to discern what we feel is our choice. All we need to understand is that the fundamental issue of creating a gentle phoenix and the issue of sex is that sex is about creating life. Some type of sexual feelings will arise when a new life needs to be created or the resurrection of life at some level of our being.

We need to understand that in the feeling of sex, there is an awareness in what we feel and what we need to do in and with our life. It lies in a deep feeling beyond sexuality and the types and kinds of feelings we have around sexuality. It should be clear as to why what we need to do in our life is related to feelings of sex and sexuality. After all, what we need to do in our life is about creating our life. It is only natural that some of the feelings about creating the life we need to live will have overtones of sexuality. On the point of creating a gentle phoenix, any sexual experience can call forth into our awareness the feelings of how to create life. If we are not preoccupied by the sex, we can recognize them and use them to guide our life. When people get pulled toward sex but can’t seem find satisfaction in sex, it is probably the awareness for their life that lies in the deep feelings that is trying to pull them past sex. Sex stands at the doorway as the beast at the gate to the awareness that allows us to know the intention for our life to know what serves us and gives us life.

In this discussion of sex and creating a gentle phoenix up to this point, the discussion has focused on why sexuality will arise as an issue. If we are willing to engage the sex and learn how to tame the beast at the gate, we can find it is a tremendous ally and can be used to make our path even easier. One thing we can use sex for is that it is the quickest way to learn what gives us life. When we have sex experience which allows for an expansion of our being, we will feel the feelings which give us life. The feelings we have which give us life will not be there in a sexual experience that is not expansive to our being. In keeping focused on feelings of expansion we can learn to discern if any experience in life ultimately serves us and our being. In this regard, we can use sex to calibrate our internal compass as to what gives is life.

As said above the key to a gentle phoenix is the flow of energy and our ability to discern that flow. This is the same technique we need to access and use our body wisdom and internal guidance. It is to use the body and accessing the inherent body wisdom and we do this through what we feel and the awareness which lies in feeling. So, we can use sex to open and refine our body wisdom and intuitive guidance.

However to access the body or even approach the body to be fully focused on what we fell, we must deal with the mind and learn to be out of mind. The easiest way to deal with the mind is through diversion and a pure state of childlike play. Sex and the feelings it causes to arise is the most power state of diversion that we have available to us. Sexuality can be the most powerful state of play available to us. In this regard we can use the sex simply to get us out of mind.

Since sexuality creates a flow of energy which enthuses our entire being, we can use sex to create a flow of energy to call forth the refreshing and nourishing waters of life to was clean and flush out all that does not serve us. However when we set that intention and use sex in this way, we will find we are quickly faced with the past and all the reason why we are not free to engage in spontaneous and innocent childlike play arise to be addressed. Here we may find what we cause to arise almost instantaneously it can take years to process and deal with all the pain of those experiences.

Also it needs to be noted that even thought we do not set the intention for our sexual experience to flush out which blocks or binds the free flow of our creative life energy, we should not be surprised if key issues do not spontaneously arise from the sexual experience. Here we need to realize that what arises is not a caused by our partner or the sex. Our partner and sex are simply the occasion for what is already inside us to arise to be address. Here again, sex is about creating life. It will enthuse our entire being and seek to bring life to any dead and dormant aspects of our being. Depending on how powerful the sexual experience is and how safe and secure space is created we can expect quite traumatic experience of the past to rise from this life or even past lives.

Sex is an extremely powerful tool to awaken and bring life to all aspects of our being. The more we can move toward a safe and secure space for our creative spirit to become free and the more playful the way it is done as in spontaneous and innocent childlike play we can expect things long since forgotten to arise. In fact, we may find ourselves stumbling into the Ultimate Accident and an experience of the Source of Creation.

As for creating a gentle phoenix through the conscious use of sex it is about exploring creative activities relative to creating and/or recreating our life. The activities could be through creative endeavors, rituals, ceremonies, metatheaters and the like to know what creating a life feels like. It is to look for what activities give us a fullness of being, an inner satisfaction, an enthusiasm and a passion for life and to engage life, and expansion of our being or a blossoming of our being. It is to know the feelings that are directed towards creating life and not those directed toward only having sex. In that awareness lies the understanding as to how to use sexuality and whether or not we are being served by our sexual relationships.

Here a note needs to be made. Using sex to create a gentle phoenix experience for someone is about the proper manipulate of their body to access, reveal and retrieve its internal wisdom about what give it life. It is about becoming open to feeling, addressing the pain of the past through the intuitive guidance and body wisdom and moving toward a state of creative play. It is an extremely feminine and nurturing process. It requires the ultimate surrender to the flow of energy to meet the true needs of the other to create the space of freedom for their creative spirit. It is why an Ultimate Accident can be had in trying to create such an experience. It cannot and will not work if the masculine reflected in our mind is involved. It is an out of mind fully in body feeling experience.

When the mind is present and refuses to surrender the gentlest way is actually the wise use of the pain of separation to awaken the feminine within the individual. In the longing of separation, the feminine consciousness within will eventually awaken and push the mind to surrender. However, until that surrender occurs, any use of sex will simply reinforce the mind and make the process more difficult.

It does not matter whether the individual is a male or female. If their mind is unwilling to let go, relinquish control and surrender, the pain of separation for that which is loved is the fastest, if not, surprisingly, the gentlest, way to transform and recreate our life. Only when the mind is willing to relinquish control and relax into surrendering to the creative process to flow with the energy can the optimum gentle phoenix be had. In the end, the challenge is not sex and facing the beast at the gate. The challenge is facing our own mind to recreate itself and then allow the inner changes to be reflected externally. Then in that inner transformation, the beast at the gate becomes tame. We know exactly what to and how to act on any sexuality we feel. The sexual feelings we act upon will create an expansion within our being opening us to a deep and more full understanding of Creation for all of the doorways of sex become available to us and all that sex has to offer.

Related topics
Creating a gentle phoenix
A bottom line about sex and our creativity
Sensual experience beyond sex

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